Endless Influence, No Control

We don't have control over anything, but we do have tremendous influence.

We can influence the behavior of others by our intentions, choices, and conduct. But we cannot actually control what other people do. And when we attempt to influence the behavior of others, it actually turns into a subtle form of trying to control them. Amazingly, all of this applies to not only our relationships with humanity, but our relationship with ourselves as well. We actually are not in control of the programs, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors operating within us in any given moment. But, we also have a tremendous, tremendous influence over all of these aspects of ourselves in the domain of attention, intention, and choices.

You may be thinking, "I don't want to stop having control over myself. That sounds dangerous." But the thing is: you've never had control over yourself, so you don't even need to make an effort to "stop" trying to be in control of yourself!

Being in ego consciousness is like sitting at the helm of a giant computer console with infinite buttons that supposedly "control" what happens. And awakening is realizing, day by day, moment by moment, that all of the buttons on the console aren't actually connected to anything. They are simply pretend buttons that we press when we can't admit to ourselves how uncontrollable and liberated life always already is.

It's not wrong to want to control things. But it's very stressful. The one who thinks it's in control, doesn't want to be out of control, and clings desperately to any remaining vestiges of control deserves lots of love and compassion, not condemnation and shame.