HONORING SACRED RAGE

Today, I uncovered a depth of rage within me that had been buried and unexpressed for far too long. 

Somewhere in the infinite chambers of my psyche, there is a little boy who is absolutely infuriated that he did not receive the love and affection from women and girls that he yearned to receive. And this armor of pure fury is protecting the gaping wound of sadness that he was not loved in the way that he wished to be.

The rage of this little boy, if I am being honest, is quite disturbing to bring into full awareness. It feels wild, dangerous, reckless. It’s no wonder that he didn’t feel safe enough to express it: intuitively, he knew that it would bring immense harm into the lives of others if expressed in an unhealthy way. But in not expressing it at all, the rage sunk deeply into the body’s energy field and began poisoning it, which manifested as deep states of depression and self-hatred.

I gave this little boy full permission to express his rage in a safe way (a letter written to the feminine from his little boy perspective, shredded after writing), and while it was not easy or pleasant to witness the magnitude of his anger and grief, upon its successful and safe expression, my body is feeling lighter and freer than ever. Anger’s gifts are given when anger’s opinion is given the right to have a voice. When anger is voiced in a way that doesn’t pin it to an innocent other, it literally burns itself out of your body’s energy field.

So if there is a wrathful one within you that has never had the opportunity to share its fury with you in a non-judgmental way: let that one out. Not out on others, who are not the cause of its pain anyway, but out in the open air of the collective field of consciousness, where it can be transmuted into something far more liberating and healing than it ever could be lurking and festering inside of you.

To all of the enraged, wounded little boys and little girls and little non-binary people in all hearts: I see you. I honor your rage. I bow to your journey through grief and heartbreak. You are not wrong for feeling as you do. I want to hear from you. I love you.