Distinguishing Self-Improvement from Spiritual Awakening

An analogy:

Self-improvement is like noticing that you’re a character in a less-than-preferential dream, and noticing that you dislike the way this dream is showing up for you. You then engage in a process of putting that dream character into a nicer, prettier, shinier, more preferential dream environment. Before, your dream character was miserable, out of shape, and partnerless, living in a shack. Now, your dream character is smiling, with six-pack abs, jet skiing with their smokin’ hot partner before returning to their beach-front mansion to make passionate tantric love. One is “better” than the other... but the fact remains, in both instances, it’s still a dream character, occupying a dream environment that it believes is true, but in fact is not true at all. Both the shack-dwelling depressive and the six-pack love machine will disappear the moment the dream ends. Neither dream character is who you are in truth.

Modern spirituality has, by and large, mistaken self-improvement, this shifting from unpleasant dreams to pleasant ones, for spiritual awakening, which is about waking up FROM the dream, not merely rearranging its contents. “Manifest your soul mate! Attract your God-given abundance! Then, you’ll be woke!” No, you’ll still be asleep. You’ll be asleep in a nicer-feeling dream, one that will inevitably, like all dreams must, come to an end. And you may find that even this nicer-feeling dream doesn’t satisfy the deepest longing of your heart, and simply causes you to crave an even nicer-feeling dream, endlessly striving to find the perfect configuration of dream-materials that you have hypnotized yourself into believing will satisfy you once and for all.

There is nothing wrong with self-improvement. But if you’re interested, truly passionate, about waking up to who you truly are, you must get really clear about whether your quest for awakening is deep down just a quest for self-improvement. Be honest with yourself, as honest as you can possibly be, about which path you are on, and do your best to not delude yourself you’re thinking you’re interested in waking up to who you truly are when in fact you’re only interested in waking up because you think that will guarantee you a nicer, more permanent dream. As has been observed by many other wise beings on the awakening path, it is far more likely that you will be awakened in the midst of a nightmare than it is you will be awakened from the benign gentleness of a pleasant daydream. This is why as hard as we try to keep all non-preferential experiences at bay, they always arise again sooner or later, to coax you from your slumber and deepen into what is true.

Again, this is not a “fuck you” to self-improvement, or intended to discourage anyone who is striving to improve their circumstances from doing so. I myself have confused self-improvement with awakening many, many times. It’s quite easy to do. It appears to be a necessary component to the spiritual path, in a sense. In addition to that, you have every right to strive for more preferential circumstances, if that is your desire. And this post is not intended to “stop” you from doing so. Go for it! You’re going to do what you’re going to do. You are more intimate with your experience of life than I will ever be, and your choices, whatever they may be, are your responbility and birthright. What these words are doing is pointing towards what distinguishes a path of authentic spiritual awakening from a path of improving the experience of the dreamer. And to dispel the myth that spiritual awakening will instantaneously whisk all of your non-preferential experiences away like magic. While it is true that deepening into your awakening usually (not always) tends to improve your circumstances and quality of life, that is a byproduct of the awakening, not the awakening itself. It’s helpful to address and dispel the mythologies we have around awakening, as a kindness to those who may spend years pursuing a myth based on what our culture has taught them about spirituality.

That which is already fully awake within you will resonate with these words and recognize them as catalysts for deeper awakening. That within you which does not wish its sleep to be disturbed will find them pointless, triggering, or nonsensical. Whatever response you are having is perfectly okay. However these words are received, I wish you all the best on your journey home. May you find what it is you are truly looking for. As our dear brother Ram Dass (RIP) often said, we are all walking each other home. ❤ ...oh, and Merry Holiday or whatever. 😉😛🎅