This Universe Belongs to No One
I work at a day care center, and it’s always such an amusement to see the little skirmishes kids get into with each other as they develop their sense of individuality. A very common situation is that one kid will get upset at another kid for playing with the classroom ball. “Mine!!” they’ll shriek ferociously, at which point a teacher comes over and says, “No, it’s not your’s. It belongs everyone in the class.” (And that’s not even the whole truth: the ball in fact belongs to no one at all. But I digress!)
It’s fascinating to see how this process of identifying the ball, which belongs no one individual in the class, as “mine,” literally creates a problem and interpersonal conflict out of thin air. When the ball is known as just “ball,” no problem, no conflict. If another kid is playing with “ball,” no problem. But the instant the ball becomes “MY ball”... BIG problem, lots of conflict! Hands off, buddy! Give it to ME! It’s almost endearing, to see the innocence of it all.
Now, we may smile and shake our heads at this childish immaturity. “Can’t they see that it’s not ‘their’ ball, that it’s just a ball?” But the fact of the matter is, most so-called “normal” adults do the exact same thing, but with far more sophisticated toys. Instead of “it’s MY ball, not your’s,” it becomes “it’s MY culture, not your’s.” Or “it’s MY gender identity, not your’s.” Or “it’s MY family, not your’s.” Adults, just like children, conjure conflicts out of thin air by identifying certain objects (including abstract mental objects like cultural heritage, race, and gender identity) in their experience as “Me” and “Mine”.
In truth, no thing in this universe belongs to any of us. Anything that can be identified as belonging to “me” is a transitory mental/perceptual phenomenon. Everything in this universe arises, hangs out for a minute or two, and then passes away. There is absolutely no object in our experience that can ultimately be grasped onto or coveted as a possession intrinsic to who we are. In other words: the entirety of this physical universe is on loan. And all loans will return from where they came from, sooner or later. No exceptions.
This universe is not “my universe.” This life is not “my life.” This universe, this life, belongs to no one, in the exact same way the classroom ball doesn’t belong to any of the children in the classroom. If you wish to truly rise above the immaturity of childhood, then a very deep, sincere investigation into this magical conflict-generating process called “making something mine” is an excellent place to start. You can begin with this question:
How do I know for certain that what I call “mine” actually, truly, undoubtedly belongs to me? I know that I think it belongs to me. I know that other people may agree it belongs to me. But how do I know that for certain?
Identification, the process of making life into a personal possession, the journey from “ball” to “my ball,” is innocent and natural. It’s part of the growth process of the human being. But when identification is carried into adulthood, it causes immense amounts of suffering for oneself and others.
Just because you have an adult human body and a mortgage doesn’t mean you’re not still a child, spiritually speaking. If you are still clinging to notions of “me” and “mine,” trying to find yourself in your possessions, you are acting out the same basic dysfunction that is so innocently expressed in children, but with fancier concepts... and the consequences are far more dire when acted out by “adults.” Look at the world around you, and you’ll see. Look at the news, and you’ll see. Look at the ferocious suffering plaguing nearly everyone alive today, and you’ll see.
May all human beings be at peace. May we all belong to life, and not the other way around. Now, now, always only now.